oh okay haha i thought you guys were done with this. i’ll do it anyway.
okay. get ready for an essay haha.
Wanna know something? You are literally the best person I know. I’m serious. I think about it sometimes, like how it’s weird that we’ve been friends for so long and somehow managed to survive high school and now our first year of uni together. I’ve said it before (haha) but I remember when we were graduating primary school, you said that your mum told you that people don’t stay good friends with the people they were friends with in primary school. And i remember the four of us (wayyyy back when haha) sitting there and saying, no no that will not happen with us, but kind of deep down wondering if it was true. and it did become true, at least for the other two girls. but not us. and that is something i’ll be grateful for forever.
sure, maybe we werent as close as we are now when we were in high school. but i’m so so glad that we took the time to hang out with each other still. remember your 13th birthday? that was when i first met Lizzy! see there’s another thing, you also introduced me to one of my favourite friends haha. anyway what i mean is, our friendship has withstood many many years. which is awesome, obviously haha.
I never understood people who would say, “she’s like the sister i never had”. i thought it was a weird thing to say. but when i think about it now, you really are like a sister to me. i cannot imagine my life without you. i rely on you so much, i depend on your opinion and reassurance and advice. i can barely go a day without sending you a text or calling you or hanging out with you (what am i going to do when you move?). in fact, you’re like the only person i can call and talk to on the phone without hesitating first, cause as you know, i hate talking on the phone. and even if i saw you that day, even if i spoke to you for an hour on the phone, i still never run out of things to say to you. you’re the person i never have an awkward silence with. you’re the person i can be completely myself with. and i literally do not think i could survive without you.
and i hope that you feel the same with me (i’m pretty certain you do haha) and i promise to always be there for you, no matter what happens to either of us and wherever we end up. i’ll be there for you. i got your back gurrrrrrl!
you know who you are. you’re my misspelt man, my seedy mexican in a corner, the uncle jamie, my chop god, my partner in crime, my wingman, my twin, my best friend. and you always will be.
i cant wait to be really old knitting harry potter themed scarves for our grandkids and reminiscing on the crazy times we’ve had together
love you :)
okay now for the next one far out this is taking forever haha
i’ve written you letters before, ones on year 11 retreat. but i think then i never really said what i wanted to. there’s lots of things i could say to you- about how many times you’ve broken my heart, and how many times i’ve felt let down by you… i know that a lot changed between us during my last two years of school. but you know what? i’m so glad that things are practically normal with us now. I’m so so happy that you treat me like an adult, that you can finally trust me again. and i want to say sorry. i’m sorry for being a brat all those times last year and the year before (and even this year). i’m sorry i couldn’t trust you and your judgement, even though i know that you are always right. i’m sorry for making you cry, i’m sorry for breaking your heart and your trust that one night, where i made the worst decisions for all the wrong reasons. thank you for understanding, for not saying ‘i told you so’ when i came around finally and realised who my true friends are.
and most of all i’m sorry that you couldn’t live the life you should have. now that i’m older i understand the decision you had to make, only a few years older than me, to start a family when you weren’t ready, not really, when you were still a kid practically. to say goodbye to the dreams you had just to keep my brother and to have me and to eventually have my sister. you didn’t get to live the life most people do. you won’t live the life i’ll get to live. and i’m sorry for that. now i can appreciate why you do the things you do, i can appreciate the sacrafices you have made for us. because you love us so much. and i’ll always love you. always. i know i don’t always seem like i do but i promise i do. you’re one of my best friends, and although i don’t necessarily tell you all the things happening in my life, i will always cherish those little moments i have with you—when you come home for lunch if you’re working nearby, when we decide to watch jane austen movies together, when you tell me about a book you read recently, when you tell me a funny story about the kids you work with.
i hear stories about people who hate their mums. and i can never understand it. i’ll never hate you. i’ll always love you mum. always.
Ah maddie i’ll love you forever and ever and ever and we will be attending 60’s parties until we are 80 :)